You look ridiculous in those massive glasses. They’re different from sunglasses, you know, because we can see the entirety of your face through the lenses. And through those lenses, your face doesn’t look so great. And you know how funny it feels when you smile and your glasses move up and down? We can see that, and it looks funny, too.
Also, your ironic donning of those huge glasses is at the expense quite specifically of me.
Cut it out. On behalf of everyone who has overcome their adolescence to achieve some sort of happiness in adulthood, I implore you.
UPDATE: Amy and Drew have stepped up with big-glasses photos of themselves from decades past. When individuals pool their efforts, change is possible. Post your photos, people, and let me know.
UPDATE THE 2nd: Vashti has joined the brigade.
UPDATE 19th May: Doris put in her ante (and she’s started a blog!)
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[...] best distraction from hours and hours of editing PDFs this week was certainly all the talk of big glasses. Note, though, that I’m not into posting embarrassing photos of my adolescent self just for [...]
» 10th May Weekly Roundup added these pithy words on May 10 08 at 5:10 pm
penny added these pithy words on May 07 08 at 6:34 pmi think i’ve burnt all those photos of me but i’ll explore if mum saved any — you’re not alone! and the optometrists wonder why today i try to cram bifocals into the smallest possible frames…
Kim added these pithy words on May 07 08 at 7:56 pm@penny: I’m beginning to fear I might be the only one who didn’t burn them…
penny added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 3:04 am@Kim: (i need coffee) i still have all the yearbooks (incl. elementary school). i’ll dig out some gems for you when i next visit mum. mentally i burnt them; i’m pretty sure that physically they are /somewhere/.
Amy added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 9:27 am@Kim: Funny thing is, since I’m purging things for an impending move, I *just* got donated these–I had been saving them purely because they make me laugh, but they didn’t make the cut!
Mom added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 9:28 amJust remember that you, in your usual independent manner, selected those glasses! As dis, I am sure all the other preteens.
Kim added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 9:40 am@Mom: Mom, I wasn’t a preteen. I was a full-on teen. And I made a very, very big mistake. No parental blame present. :)
Melissa added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 11:38 amHa! I laughed out loud at those pictures… mostly because I remember them (I think I may have even been the photographer)!!
Kim added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 11:56 am@Melissa: Oh, man, that’s right! I think you did take them. The one on the left (with my unfortunate choice for favourite t-shirt) was outside the changing room at Givah. The one on the right had a certain you-endorsed-him few-weeks boyfriend cut out of it (to save him the humiliation; he was a very, very nice guy).
Robyn added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 12:01 pmYou are super brave to post! I totally won’t admit that I had similar huge glasses but I think mine were blue or maybe purple. See I totally repressed it. It never happened. Why on earth of all the fun 80’s stuff would the powers that be want to bring huge glasses back? Guess they want to laugh at themselves 20 years from now too.
vashti added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 12:07 pmRobyn, be a fire walker! Be the fire! I know it’s hard to get past the initial nausea, but I managed to and I feel better for it: http://designingvashti.blogspot.com/2008/05/big-glasses-hot-or-not.html
Thanks Kim :-)
Kim added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 12:39 pm@Robyn: What Vashti said. Own your big-glasses past. Do it so we can avoid more horror in the present! We will hold your hand. It will be okay. Do it.
Mom added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 4:35 pmAll of you need to keep this issue in mind when you laugh at your parents’ old pictures. Somehow tie-dye and bellbottoms have returned to fashion, so maybe in 40 years these glasses will as well.
Kim added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 5:02 pm@Mom: Oh, mom, they’re coming back now. That’s why it’s so imperative that we point out now and loudly how ridiculous these misguided trend-followers look. We all suffered so they wouldn’t have to, and yet still. Bellbottoms and tie-dye (not, um, of the sort pictured above) deserve to remain in the cycle of fashion. The big glasses, however, should have their number retired, if you know what I’m saying. Their glory has forever passed.
penny added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 5:15 pmFunny, I always find my mum’s photos elegant and timely from her childhood through early adulthood (say age 25, before she had lots of heartbreak). Her HS yearbook photo (’57) is gorgeous to me ….
I recall my mum’s big glasses (they were red) and what fun i made of her… actually *blush* that was at the time of most of these photos (i’m the little sister to this group but i wasn’t born in the 80’s), I wasn’t a glasses wearer yet (though I should’ve been. go me for memorizing the school eye chart and being short). But the pair I got a few years later (well, after I broke several that school year) made up for it. I’ll find that photo for you this weekend. Promises. to me they were HUGE (though in retrospect, probably not).
vashti added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 5:39 pmI have to take sides here. Bell-bottoms and tie-dye are timeless things-o-beauty, no matter how new or old, so they shouldn’t be lumped with Big Glasses. I don’t recall Big Glasses representing Beauty itself, instead their purpose was to make a statement and counterbalance the wee wire granny glasses (I could produce ’70’s pics of those too in a court of law). Surely we all agree that Big Glasses make a statement! So: the statement’s been made and forever etched in my memory. Future generations will be ok if it’s never restated.
Laura added these pithy words on May 08 08 at 5:49 pmOh how funny! I’ve had glasses since kindergarten (in my 30’s now) and suffered through quite a few pairs of those huge monstrosties! I’ve hated wearing glasses as long as I can remember, and I think it’s because of how clunky and uncomfortable the ones I had as a kid were. I can’t get contacts (my vision isn’t treatable with them), and but thank God glasses have shrunk since the 80’s, and gotten so much thinner and lighter, or I’d still be wearing 1 inch thick lenses. I refuse, REFUSE to go back to wearing those mammoth glasses that go already down to my cheeks! I’ll be out of style first, LOL!
Amy J. added these pithy words on May 09 08 at 7:08 amOH MY GOD–I used to have humongous glasses like that and I still have the scars! You are a brave one to post these–if I could burn all the evidence of those years I would :).
Megan added these pithy words on May 10 08 at 6:58 pmI didn’t need glasses until I was 22, I think, which was… 6 years ago. So I missed the big glasses era, dangit. My husband wasn’t so lucky, though - he wore them through high school up until a few years before I met him, when his female roommate gave him a makeover so he could make a better impression on girls. :D
Doris added these pithy words on May 17 08 at 5:53 amAtom Ant. The cartoon, that is. I spent the early 80’s with big glasses grafted to my face. The beauty of this kind of frame is that they don’t have those annoying pincer pads on either side of your nose. I have a flat face, with no nose bridge, and those bigglasses style frames were the only ones I could comfortably wear all day. I switched to the RayBan wraparounds a few years ago, but same idea. Doris, the bridge-less wonder.
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