Kim Werker

An Open Letter to Hipsters

You look ridiculous in those massive glasses. They’re different from sunglasses, you know, because we can see the entirety of your face through the lenses. And through those lenses, your face doesn’t look so great. And you know how funny it feels when you smile and your glasses move up and down? We can see that, and it looks funny, too.

Also, your ironic donning of those huge glasses is at the expense quite specifically of me.

Cut it out. On behalf of everyone who has overcome their adolescence to achieve some sort of happiness in adulthood, I implore you.

UPDATE: Amy and Drew have stepped up with big-glasses photos of themselves from decades past. When individuals pool their efforts, change is possible. Post your photos, people, and let me know.

UPDATE THE 2nd: Vashti has joined the brigade.

UPDATE 19th May: Doris put in her ante (and she’s started a blog!)

56 responses to “An Open Letter to Hipsters”

  1. penny Avatar
    penny

    i think i’ve burnt all those photos of me but i’ll explore if mum saved any — you’re not alone! and the optometrists wonder why today i try to cram bifocals into the smallest possible frames…

    Reply
  2. penny Avatar
    penny

    i think i’ve burnt all those photos of me but i’ll explore if mum saved any — you’re not alone! and the optometrists wonder why today i try to cram bifocals into the smallest possible frames…

    Reply
  3. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @penny: I’m beginning to fear I might be the only one who didn’t burn them…

    Reply
  4. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @penny: I’m beginning to fear I might be the only one who didn’t burn them…

    Reply
  5. penny Avatar
    penny

    @Kim: (i need coffee) i still have all the yearbooks (incl. elementary school). i’ll dig out some gems for you when i next visit mum. mentally i burnt them; i’m pretty sure that physically they are /somewhere/.

    Reply
  6. penny Avatar
    penny

    @Kim: (i need coffee) i still have all the yearbooks (incl. elementary school). i’ll dig out some gems for you when i next visit mum. mentally i burnt them; i’m pretty sure that physically they are /somewhere/.

    Reply
  7. Amy Avatar
    Amy

    @Kim: Funny thing is, since I’m purging things for an impending move, I *just* got donated these–I had been saving them purely because they make me laugh, but they didn’t make the cut!

    Reply
  8. Amy Avatar
    Amy

    @Kim: Funny thing is, since I’m purging things for an impending move, I *just* got donated these–I had been saving them purely because they make me laugh, but they didn’t make the cut!

    Reply
  9. Mom Avatar
    Mom

    Just remember that you, in your usual independent manner, selected those glasses! As dis, I am sure all the other preteens.

    Reply
  10. Mom Avatar
    Mom

    Just remember that you, in your usual independent manner, selected those glasses! As dis, I am sure all the other preteens.

    Reply
  11. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @Mom: Mom, I wasn’t a preteen. I was a full-on teen. And I made a very, very big mistake. No parental blame present. :)

    Reply
  12. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @Mom: Mom, I wasn’t a preteen. I was a full-on teen. And I made a very, very big mistake. No parental blame present. :)

    Reply
  13. Melissa Avatar
    Melissa

    Ha! I laughed out loud at those pictures… mostly because I remember them (I think I may have even been the photographer)!!

    Reply
  14. Melissa Avatar
    Melissa

    Ha! I laughed out loud at those pictures… mostly because I remember them (I think I may have even been the photographer)!!

    Reply
  15. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @Melissa: Oh, man, that’s right! I think you did take them. The one on the left (with my unfortunate choice for favourite t-shirt) was outside the changing room at Givah. The one on the right had a certain you-endorsed-him few-weeks boyfriend cut out of it (to save him the humiliation; he was a very, very nice guy).

    Reply
  16. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @Melissa: Oh, man, that’s right! I think you did take them. The one on the left (with my unfortunate choice for favourite t-shirt) was outside the changing room at Givah. The one on the right had a certain you-endorsed-him few-weeks boyfriend cut out of it (to save him the humiliation; he was a very, very nice guy).

    Reply
  17. Robyn Avatar
    Robyn

    You are super brave to post! I totally won’t admit that I had similar huge glasses but I think mine were blue or maybe purple. See I totally repressed it. It never happened. Why on earth of all the fun 80’s stuff would the powers that be want to bring huge glasses back? Guess they want to laugh at themselves 20 years from now too.

    Reply
  18. Robyn Avatar
    Robyn

    You are super brave to post! I totally won’t admit that I had similar huge glasses but I think mine were blue or maybe purple. See I totally repressed it. It never happened. Why on earth of all the fun 80’s stuff would the powers that be want to bring huge glasses back? Guess they want to laugh at themselves 20 years from now too.

    Reply
  19. vashti Avatar
    vashti

    Robyn, be a fire walker! Be the fire! I know it’s hard to get past the initial nausea, but I managed to and I feel better for it: http://designingvashti.blogspot.com/2008/05/big-glasses-hot-or-not.html
    Thanks Kim :-)

    Reply
  20. vashti Avatar
    vashti

    Robyn, be a fire walker! Be the fire! I know it’s hard to get past the initial nausea, but I managed to and I feel better for it: http://designingvashti.blogspot.com/2008/05/big-glasses-hot-or-not.html
    Thanks Kim :-)

    Reply
  21. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @Robyn: What Vashti said. Own your big-glasses past. Do it so we can avoid more horror in the present! We will hold your hand. It will be okay. Do it.

    Reply
  22. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @Robyn: What Vashti said. Own your big-glasses past. Do it so we can avoid more horror in the present! We will hold your hand. It will be okay. Do it.

    Reply
  23. Mom Avatar
    Mom

    All of you need to keep this issue in mind when you laugh at your parents’ old pictures. Somehow tie-dye and bellbottoms have returned to fashion, so maybe in 40 years these glasses will as well.

    Reply
  24. Mom Avatar
    Mom

    All of you need to keep this issue in mind when you laugh at your parents’ old pictures. Somehow tie-dye and bellbottoms have returned to fashion, so maybe in 40 years these glasses will as well.

    Reply
  25. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @Mom: Oh, mom, they’re coming back now. That’s why it’s so imperative that we point out now and loudly how ridiculous these misguided trend-followers look. We all suffered so they wouldn’t have to, and yet still. Bellbottoms and tie-dye (not, um, of the sort pictured above) deserve to remain in the cycle of fashion. The big glasses, however, should have their number retired, if you know what I’m saying. Their glory has forever passed.

    Reply
  26. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @Mom: Oh, mom, they’re coming back now. That’s why it’s so imperative that we point out now and loudly how ridiculous these misguided trend-followers look. We all suffered so they wouldn’t have to, and yet still. Bellbottoms and tie-dye (not, um, of the sort pictured above) deserve to remain in the cycle of fashion. The big glasses, however, should have their number retired, if you know what I’m saying. Their glory has forever passed.

    Reply
  27. penny Avatar
    penny

    Funny, I always find my mum’s photos elegant and timely from her childhood through early adulthood (say age 25, before she had lots of heartbreak). Her HS yearbook photo (’57) is gorgeous to me ….

    I recall my mum’s big glasses (they were red) and what fun i made of her… actually *blush* that was at the time of most of these photos (i’m the little sister to this group but i wasn’t born in the 80’s), I wasn’t a glasses wearer yet (though I should’ve been. go me for memorizing the school eye chart and being short). But the pair I got a few years later (well, after I broke several that school year) made up for it. I’ll find that photo for you this weekend. Promises. to me they were HUGE (though in retrospect, probably not).

    Reply
  28. penny Avatar
    penny

    Funny, I always find my mum’s photos elegant and timely from her childhood through early adulthood (say age 25, before she had lots of heartbreak). Her HS yearbook photo (’57) is gorgeous to me ….

    I recall my mum’s big glasses (they were red) and what fun i made of her… actually *blush* that was at the time of most of these photos (i’m the little sister to this group but i wasn’t born in the 80’s), I wasn’t a glasses wearer yet (though I should’ve been. go me for memorizing the school eye chart and being short). But the pair I got a few years later (well, after I broke several that school year) made up for it. I’ll find that photo for you this weekend. Promises. to me they were HUGE (though in retrospect, probably not).

    Reply
  29. vashti Avatar
    vashti

    I have to take sides here. Bell-bottoms and tie-dye are timeless things-o-beauty, no matter how new or old, so they shouldn’t be lumped with Big Glasses. I don’t recall Big Glasses representing Beauty itself, instead their purpose was to make a statement and counterbalance the wee wire granny glasses (I could produce ’70’s pics of those too in a court of law). Surely we all agree that Big Glasses make a statement! So: the statement’s been made and forever etched in my memory. Future generations will be ok if it’s never restated.

    Reply
  30. vashti Avatar
    vashti

    I have to take sides here. Bell-bottoms and tie-dye are timeless things-o-beauty, no matter how new or old, so they shouldn’t be lumped with Big Glasses. I don’t recall Big Glasses representing Beauty itself, instead their purpose was to make a statement and counterbalance the wee wire granny glasses (I could produce ’70’s pics of those too in a court of law). Surely we all agree that Big Glasses make a statement! So: the statement’s been made and forever etched in my memory. Future generations will be ok if it’s never restated.

    Reply
  31. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    Oh how funny! I’ve had glasses since kindergarten (in my 30’s now) and suffered through quite a few pairs of those huge monstrosties! I’ve hated wearing glasses as long as I can remember, and I think it’s because of how clunky and uncomfortable the ones I had as a kid were. I can’t get contacts (my vision isn’t treatable with them), and but thank God glasses have shrunk since the 80’s, and gotten so much thinner and lighter, or I’d still be wearing 1 inch thick lenses. I refuse, REFUSE to go back to wearing those mammoth glasses that go already down to my cheeks! I’ll be out of style first, LOL!

    Reply
  32. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    Oh how funny! I’ve had glasses since kindergarten (in my 30’s now) and suffered through quite a few pairs of those huge monstrosties! I’ve hated wearing glasses as long as I can remember, and I think it’s because of how clunky and uncomfortable the ones I had as a kid were. I can’t get contacts (my vision isn’t treatable with them), and but thank God glasses have shrunk since the 80’s, and gotten so much thinner and lighter, or I’d still be wearing 1 inch thick lenses. I refuse, REFUSE to go back to wearing those mammoth glasses that go already down to my cheeks! I’ll be out of style first, LOL!

    Reply
  33. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @vashti: Exactly. You nailed it.

    Reply
  34. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @vashti: Exactly. You nailed it.

    Reply
  35. Amy J. Avatar
    Amy J.

    OH MY GOD–I used to have humongous glasses like that and I still have the scars! You are a brave one to post these–if I could burn all the evidence of those years I would :).

    Reply
  36. Amy J. Avatar
    Amy J.

    OH MY GOD–I used to have humongous glasses like that and I still have the scars! You are a brave one to post these–if I could burn all the evidence of those years I would :).

    Reply
  37. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    I didn’t need glasses until I was 22, I think, which was… 6 years ago. So I missed the big glasses era, dangit. My husband wasn’t so lucky, though – he wore them through high school up until a few years before I met him, when his female roommate gave him a makeover so he could make a better impression on girls. :D

    Reply
  38. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    I didn’t need glasses until I was 22, I think, which was… 6 years ago. So I missed the big glasses era, dangit. My husband wasn’t so lucky, though – he wore them through high school up until a few years before I met him, when his female roommate gave him a makeover so he could make a better impression on girls. :D

    Reply
  39. Doris Avatar
    Doris

    Atom Ant. The cartoon, that is. I spent the early 80’s with big glasses grafted to my face. The beauty of this kind of frame is that they don’t have those annoying pincer pads on either side of your nose. I have a flat face, with no nose bridge, and those bigglasses style frames were the only ones I could comfortably wear all day. I switched to the RayBan wraparounds a few years ago, but same idea. Doris, the bridge-less wonder.

    Reply
  40. Doris Avatar
    Doris

    Atom Ant. The cartoon, that is. I spent the early 80’s with big glasses grafted to my face. The beauty of this kind of frame is that they don’t have those annoying pincer pads on either side of your nose. I have a flat face, with no nose bridge, and those bigglasses style frames were the only ones I could comfortably wear all day. I switched to the RayBan wraparounds a few years ago, but same idea. Doris, the bridge-less wonder.

    Reply
  41. Kyle S. Avatar
    Kyle S.

    You forget… if a hipster is to smile… they are no longer a hipster. Smiling would ruin their nonchalant…

    Reply
  42. Kyle S. Avatar
    Kyle S.

    You forget… if a hipster is to smile… they are no longer a hipster. Smiling would ruin their nonchalant…

    Reply
  43. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @Kyle S.: Oh god, you’re right. Maybe I should change that to “squint”.

    Reply
  44. Kim Werker Avatar
    Kim Werker

    @Kyle S.: Oh god, you’re right. Maybe I should change that to “squint”.

    Reply
  45. lauren Avatar
    lauren

    I personally despise the hipsters and all their “oh, we're not conformists shit.” But, I do wear huge, wire frame glasses. Why? Because I have awful eye sight and I hate being able to see the frames in my vision. And, in small glasses, I look like Harry Potter.

    Reply
  46. female roommate Avatar
    female roommate

    Heck!
    That's looks just like my old roommate.
    Will send her to this page.
    LOL!!

    Reply
  47. Chanel Sunglasses Avatar
    Chanel Sunglasses

    You don't look that bad in big frames, n there r now many ways in graphics that can restore your original look behind the glasses. Well, that's only for pics though :)

    Reply
  48. Club Penguin Cheats Avatar
    Club Penguin Cheats

    I spent the early 80's with big glasses grafted to my face. The beauty of this kind of frame is that they don't have those annoying pincer pads on either side of your nose.

    Reply
  49. Mini Games Avatar
    Mini Games

    I hear ya. I'm so sick of Hipster's ironic fashion choices.

    Reply
  50. nanovor online Avatar
    nanovor online

    You are super brave to post! I totally won't admit that I had similar huge glasses but I think mine were blue or maybe purple. See I totally repressed it. It never happened. Why on earth of all the fun 80's stuff would the powers that be want to bring huge glasses back? Guess they want to laugh at themselves 20 years from now too.

    Reply
  51. Cheap Auto Insurance Quotes Avatar
    Cheap Auto Insurance Quotes

    i think i've burnt all those photos of me but i'll explore if mum saved any — you're not alone! and the optometrists wonder why today i try to cram bifocals into the smallest possible frames…

    Reply
  52. Cheap Auto Insurance Quotes Avatar
    Cheap Auto Insurance Quotes

    i think i've burnt all those photos of me but i'll explore if mum saved any — you're not alone! and the optometrists wonder why today i try to cram bifocals into the smallest possible frames…

    Reply
  53. Treatment For Acne Scars Avatar
    Treatment For Acne Scars

    I congratulate you. You are brave to post!

    Reply
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    how to get pregnant

    Hi, I like your post. I was searching for the same. You have included everything in your blog but you can improve it a little bit.

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