I took a one-night pottery workshop a few weeks ago, and left knowing that I wanted – that I needed – to learn more. As it happens, Greg has long wanted to learn how to make pottery, too. So we did what any couple with unusual work schedules would do: we signed up to take an eight-week pottery course on Wednesday mornings.
It seemed like such a good idea at the time! I figured I'd catch up on missed work on Wednesday evenings, no harm no foul.
I have to say, though, that this class has been totally stressing me out.
It's not that pottery is hard. I mean, pottery is hard. But that's not what I find stressful. I'm totally comfortable with a steep learning curve, and I enjoy being humbled by my inability to catch on quick.
Part of the stress comes from my lovely situation of having lots of work to do. I'm in the midst of a freelancer's dream: I have lots of work – not too much – and it's all enjoyable. And that means taking off every Wednesday morning is not the grand stick-it-to-the-man adventure I'd thought it would be. It's more of a when will I get all my work done aaaaaaah kind of thing.
And part of the stress comes from my desire to work at my own damn pace, thank you very much. Halfway through the course, more than half of our class is behind. I skipped out on class this morning because I needed to work, and the lesson I missed involved making handles. Only thing is, only one or two people in class actually have mugs made to stick handles to.
If I were to do this properly, in addition to every Wednesday class I'd spend an evening or two every week in the studio practicing. But since Greg and I are both taking the class, and we have a kid with an early bedtime, it means we'd have to manage for each of us to be out for an evening or two each week, and not on the same nights. It makes my head spin. And anyway, I usually want to be in my pajamas within five minutes of my kid's early bedtime anyway.
It's more than that, though. This class has reminded me of the way I prefer to learn how to make things. That way being: try, try some more, fail miserably, try some more. At my own pace. I want to get started on something and push the limits of whatever that something is, and only then, once I understand the limits, do I want to learn about the next step to take.
I'm a pain in the ass student is what I'm saying.
And I know it. It's why I love teaching myself how to do so many things, in the comfort of my own space, without someone else telling me how I should proceed.
I joke that I have an attitude problem, and I'm sure it sometimes seems like I do. But really, I just know how I learn how to make stuff, and I think it's perfectly reasonable to allow myself to proceed in the way that works best for me.
In an ideal world, I'd have my own personal pottery studio five steps away from my house, and I'd make some magnificent messes in there and learn from all sorts of sources, and mostly play around until I come up against limitations I can't overcome on my own; then I'd seek out help.
Given that it's unlikely I'll have a pottery studio five steps away from my house anytime soon, it's quite possible I'll set this pursuit aside till I have a far more flexible schedule. Maybe when I've retired.