It's amazing how quickly we adapt to new situations. Leading up to this week's taping, the most dominant thoughts I had were about my very personal view of the odd nature of how-to television and about my own lack of narcissistic desire for widespread visual exposure. I was (um, narcissistically) concerned about my wardrobe, my haircut, my ability to sound coherent and to guide an informative segment, and how impossible it seemed that I wouldn't look like a buffoon.
After only five days of taping, my perspective has changed entirely, though some of my original thoughts persist. I now feel very, very comfortable being in front of cameras. I even feel comfortable staring one down. I feel confident facilitating an instructional segment, though I still have a lot to learn. I feel I've at least reached that point in a new experience where I've gotten over the shock of overwhelm and can now start to focus on certain skills. I'm still concerned I looked like an idiot.
I've had a producer speak through my earpiece (I joked I felt like a Cylon; nobody laughed) while the cameras were rolling and I'm pretty sure I didn't (often) flinch. I've read from a teleprompter. I managed not to use foul language, though I might have engaged in one or two over-the-top conversations while my mic was live. I got a feel for which camera to close to, and I kept my fingernails looking pretty good for five straight days.
I met many talented artists and I hope I did well by them on air.
And now I'm heading to my parents' house for a couple of days, and then back home for a return to my (usual) norm of behind-the-scenes magazine work. I might just miss the showtime. For a few days.