Author: Kim Werker
Published: Jul 4th, 2008
Category: Blather
Comments: Comments

OMG! I Forgot the Pirate Goose!

TAGS: None

Serves me right for rushing to write my weekly roundup in only twenty minutes. Perhaps the very best part of my week: 300-word fiction about pirate geese!

I really did receive an email asking, “Do you have a crochet pattern for a pirate hat small enough to fit a goose?” I seriously nearly hemorrhaged when I read it. And now five people have written very short fiction using that line. So polish up your word skillz and go over there and share your tale.

Absurdity is my favourite (yes, my top-of-the-list favourite) thing in the world.

191 Total TweetBacks: (Tweet this post)

en: Bartender in Ha Ha actually referred to multiple bottles of Corona as "Coronae." Didn't know if I was turned on or appalled. 07/03/09 09:37pm
en: @jonaskevin Hi Joe! I don't know if you will respond to this, but if you do, or at least see it, I love you, and I look up to you! Congrats! 07/03/09 09:37pm
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en: @Kain81 MJ is so 5 or so days ago :P 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @andersoncooper Just when you think nothing tops Michael Jackson's story Palin surprises us! Maybe she eyeing the Senate seat or Book deal! 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: and a scab is just your bodies way of keeping junk out of your owie. The worst thing you can do is somehow pick it off, or liquify it... 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @senjmito yeah - so do I. And up to four or five more. But that's it. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Or the chick. She might be. October, her name was. Yah. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @Chipmunkartist who do you want do go sree or halfwhit ? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @Georgina93 Yeah sree has to go, cant stand him and yeah cant stand lisa or kris, i really want halfwit to win and i can see him winning to 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Building to be sold or used for homeless http://ow.ly/gtlJ 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @therealbgoodman are we dieting on purpose or broke? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @punkwalrus Or because the world is suddenly less confetti-centric. Your choice. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @CPaladino or buy your own franchise. But then you'll just eat yourself out of profits 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Building to be sold or used for homeless http://ow.ly/gtlH 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @TAYLOR2NICOLE then just be like no because you dont want to go by yourself...or because you dont want to be super tired tomorrow. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: blocked nose, or allergy?I wonder....slightly funny feeling in throat?Hmmm....suspicious.Depleted immune system?Yep...right on the money! 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: RT @ArticlesBin "How You Can Earn 4K a Month (or more) with Just about Any Work At Home Opportunity" http://tinyurl.com/b4y6cw #marketing 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @Faith_Elizabeth lol did u just buy this stuff or hve u always had a connection with the pink and green since birth!! lol 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: I thing i want marry Nick Jinas or he will marry me 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Come hang out on this lovely Fourth of July eve and get an iced coffee or latte. On tap Rawanda. Tunes: the @TreyEdge playlist. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: One more week or so until all-stars are over and we can get busy focusing on the Titans. Can't come quick enough... 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Loneliness-sitting on break at work, trying to decide if you're going to marathon spawn or play ghostbusters when you get off 07/03/09 09:36pm
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en: According to my family I was in Rome for the coronation of Muhammad Ali. (Or the canonization of St. Theodore Guerin.) 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Wolf in Burqa Clothing - http://tinyurl.com/nb8snt #iranelection What u r supporting, either tacitly or overtly by being Green. #UnGreenNOW 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @cookiemonster82 whenever u r at ur worst,remember-Darwins law of natural selection says go through it or you don't make it ;) Just had to:p 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: How do you do this? Is this where I just spill my heart out to the ppl of the world and hope no one will read it or care? 07/03/09 09:36pm
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en: I hate missing VSTs! Because Cubase replaces them with laggy sounds from the Soundblaster MIDI bank such as a traffic whistle or sleighbells 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Wow - SURUCHI on Newington Green N16 is by far the finest curry in e8, e9, or n16 : just sooo fresh tasting! 07/03/09 09:36pm
pl: Woman or man. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: damn troday is a boring day and it sux bein at home all alone doin nuttin waitin 4 my baby 2 text or call baq grrrrrrrr hes so fresturating 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Bigger shock? MJ death or Owen to Man Yoo? What odds on those two last week! 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @queenjealousy I'm at work til 1:20am or so. so that's right out. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: just soaking my feet, i have to keep them edibale or lickable you know nothing like having pretty feet so sweet to eat!!! lol @bosscadi 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Anyone in boston area want to have a meetup to go to the science museum on either July 11th or 25th? (via @coreyhaines) 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Lunch at Oregon Trails Brewery inside Old World Deli in Corvallis OR. Beaver Tail Ale and a great sandwich! http://twitpic.com/96w02 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @AKGovSarahPalin is going to need to change her Twitter handle. What about PoliticalLiability or IblameLetterman or KnockedUpByJesus ? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: getting ready to take a nap on pops and grandmas couch maybe i can get like 15 or 20 minutes 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: instead of a follow friday list, I just want to wish everyone peace and understanding ;-) you know if you've been good to me. Or not. xxxooo 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Gah. Or say nothing. : ( Okay then... 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: I wonder how many prison fights are caused over disagreements about whether it's "shiv" or "shank". via @sween (via @LaughItUp) ro 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: I flew in on a carpet of sunshine, but apparently a cloud or two hitched a ride. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @SonOfLies or "chibatta believe the value" 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: sree or halfwit?? 07/03/09 09:36pm
: or go to www.kingdombuilderschurch.net God bless 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: If you sell me your gold or precious metals, you'll have cash to buy that #moonfruit you've been craving since Oprah first mentioned it 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: I still haven't decided what program to go through when I go to Cape Town. If you have information or a good word on one please let me know. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Relaxing with a fat tire or two. Happy 4th! 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @joanne7964 Nice design with hoops, but the beads are dyed pink magnesite, there is no turquoise, chalk or otherwise. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @ddjango Hmmm are you trying to ignore the hashbrown situation or the hockey, er hokey mom from Alaska? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: [Chicago] quick shot of fernet before a walk to Intelligentia for a cortado. Haven't decided if that was a good or bad idea yet 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @sisterpatterson i thought London... was your son, or something... oh Lord, do i feel dumb. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @AbbyRhodes what is your bike, hoping for great history or possibility 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Everything I do around her is a constant battle to know weather I am getting closer or pushing her away. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @Broncos365 Awesome maybe you can bring them there and help revive the league....1st week or two was very strong then faded. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @Ava_James Shall we have now? Or later? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: The Home Depot is gonna be rockin tonight El Salvador vs. Costa Rica that's as close as I can get to being in San Salvador or Santa Ana! 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @TaranFinch I wonder how you get a group set up, like WAWWA or Noteworthy? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Eviction Time in #BB . Halfwit or Sree? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: The 4th is almost here! Don't blow off you face or fingers 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: i hate talking to my uncle about guitars. or music in general. i'm trying to explain to him that 'perfect' is a relative term. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: RT waitwait Honestly, her statement could have been written by Tina Fey. Or, as she would have it, WRITTEN by Tiny FEY. /PDS >> LOL 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Structure or Grass Fire : east bound I10 just east of N CITRUS ST (Baldwin Park) 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @StB08 Indeed we did, my friend. However, my mom always says that sports karma, or "cheater's proof," will always come back to haunt in time 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Check us out before or after Macys fireworks at 815 10th Ave. Iced coffee xtra cold. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @storymommy Loose change or 'copper' referred to as 'shrapnel' round here, wonder if any other brits have the same thing? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @snarkandboobs how about "creating or saving" One 2012 Presidential Loser job? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @zoppity Ive also seen the friend identified as Katy Perry's stylist but they don't prove or say they're dating. It's just OMG GAY PORN STAR 07/03/09 09:36pm
es: I wish I was Partying @ las Brisas in ACAPULCO!!!!!!!! Te extrano Acapulco!!!!! or en la colonia CONDESA en el DF!!!!!!! 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @Misterkeys the apps nd stuff? Or everything? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: My fucking coach is retarded.. Let the team know if practice is cancelled or not. Espescially fucking me. Wtf wow.. Way to fuck up my day. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @Gullick So not worth it, then. I know in my town you can get reasonable USB sticks for about two or three pounds. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @awesomepaulsome we'll ask barack obama... or questlove...they know. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: I'm heading up to nh through sunday, so text or call. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: http://tinyurl.com/mvh7s5 - Make $1600 in a week? or $500 to $600 a day? from home? Unemployed or even part timers.. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @BlackDragon1969 I think our sue has gone or ignoring me lol 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @MOODY1969 I was too busy enjoying the espresso to notice the presence (or otherwise) of Earl Grey. I may be forced to return to check. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Wishing i could hide in the bathroom at work till 8. Then i wouldnt have to deal with people or as much of the heat 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: what to do bud lite or amberbok so many choices . A Damn alcoholic lol lol i love it 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: My best friend is finally back from DEUTSCHLAND! Partying with her until the wee hours of the night, or would that be morning? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: marty mcflys girlfriend accepted me on facebook, that doesnt stop her being a tramp who spends films in bins or unconscious 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @DanWarp also follow @BreakingNews and @mpoppel for true news. No rumors or biased crap. Just facts :D 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: What is Palin thinking? Or isn't she?? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @raeeerae I love you! Call me or text me when you need to talk. 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: so sad FedEx lost my hopes for an iPhone this weekend (or someone stole it off my porch)...patiently waiting another week 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: IM HOOOOOOOMMMMMEEEE!!!! calll me or teext me i missed you guuys!! 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Wonder if he even knows of AK's existence? RT @snarkandboobs: Wonder if Obama will take credit for "creating or saving" One Gov of AK job? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: @staycehustle @cricepr if a boy calls or texts u several times a day for nothing at all. Does he like u or need a hobby? 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: is Jimmy the singer or the dancer @shaybella! 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: SunMaita Do-It-Yourself Threader For Baby Smooth Skin: Okay, we are definitely intrigued by this beauty DIY, or .. http://tinyurl.com/mubywu 07/03/09 09:36pm
en: Wow. There's a Sikh bag-pipe band. I don't know whether to be amazed or horrified. And they're in a parade with goths and emos in Manchester 07/03/09 06:55am
en: http://twitpic.com/94m84 - Lanvin shoes.. Too much bows? Or never enough bows? 07/03/09 06:55am
en: MAN CORIJERK09 WON;T OPEN THE DAMN PACK OF COOKIES OR THE ICE CREAM SANDWICHES.(A BITCH HAVIN A SWEET TOOTH) 07/03/09 06:55am
en: I'm surprised the Landing has a crowd like this. Its not deep ellum or 6th str but it'll work... 07/03/09 06:55am
en: @yuuhh true..but bulls are trying to get better..getting sasha or fluke messes that up..luke and sasha won't flurish in any other system 07/03/09 06:55am
en: found an australian sheppard today outside the gate...I need her mommy to call me or to find her a new home. I'm starting to get attached:( 07/03/09 06:55am
en: wondering if you can embed links into Twitter like this http://www.bbc.com/news or <a href='http://www.bbc.com/news>news</a> 07/03/09 06:55am
en: we have no idea how to get there or we would come immediately... 07/03/09 06:55am
en: I had the mind set all day that I dont give a damn about anyone or anything, it actually got me through the day 07/03/09 06:55am
en: @ValynciaMickel lol well find something else the wood or brown sugar you know the darkskin movies lol 07/03/09 06:55am
en: @alicejean @toholio Although I can't remember if that was Sai or Darren. They both say a lot of stuff. And Sai likes to eat blood cubes. 07/03/09 06:55am
nl: Debating between PBJ or Brownies 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Free manana or no holmes @fanistefd 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Basij! If your family needs a photo to remember you, we probably have one, or will get it! http://snipr.com/kq42k #iranelection #gr88 07/03/09 06:55am
en: wow. twitter is so fun. all 290 of my followers are either a. GS/GR fans or b. hayley williams/paramore fans. lovely. best idea EVER! word. 07/03/09 06:55am
en: the next month or so : saving up to get and do what i want. most notably beach trip and bird tattoo. and some new threadz. 07/03/09 06:55am
en: RT @mrmonkeybottoms: Went 4 drive. Saw deer & a fawn frolicking in a field. -- Always better 2 see that then hitting them or seeing hit ones 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Pune or not 2 pune? that is the question.....pune 4sho 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Stalking Someone Named Hmm. "Jessica, I Love You" Im Actually Saying This But I Dont Mean It, Or Do I? Seriously I Dont, Or Do I?...Yeah No, 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Just deciding whether to let washing cycle continue or will it rain? The tough decisions of a rock music promoter... 07/03/09 06:55am
en: @Fr3d3l dude... Using Windows 7 on one or two of my test rigs and it is good... I just need an OS that reads HFS+ Volumes (aside from MacOS) 07/03/09 06:55am
: majority use them 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Ohioians or Buckeyes??? Come check it out for yourself. @phillyd 07/03/09 06:55am
es: so palm pre or iphone? 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Something's chirping outside of my window. I'm sure it's something horrendous and horrifying (like a grasshopper or a frog). Need to sleep! 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Uh, not to brag or nothin, but my homemade granola has just gotten even better (switched from oil to butter, added sesame/pine nuts). 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Name 10 factors to playing poker. Run these factors through your head in a split second. Then choose to Check/Call, Bet/Raise, or Fold. 07/03/09 06:55am
en: trying to decide if it'll be a Phish tshirt or my "Just Squeezed" tshirt for my interview tomorrow for AntiRealWorldDC 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Downloaded the new facebook app for blackberry. Kinda cool! Except some contacts have bogus info listed, or they have bogus fb names. 07/03/09 06:55am
en: @L0v3L3ss get on ustream and watch @cyr #cyr or something? 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Security keep fuckin wit me while I was grindin on this chick talkin bout get get off the stage or sit down he dnt know who the FUCK I Am 07/03/09 06:55am
en: @freshalina Or you using them as mini "luggage" for sleepovers! 07/03/09 06:55am
en: @C_Boisvert I have no idea. It just hurts a lot for some reason. Not red or itchy or anything though, so I don't think it's infected : ) 07/03/09 06:55am
en: @arielwaldman "you'll get used to it.. or you'll have a psychotic episode" - zed, men in black 07/03/09 06:55am
en: @dennisyu landing page tips , geo insert name of city or country #smx 07/03/09 06:55am
en: I SWEAR Jals brother is on my train... wait is it Jal or Jol?? anyways the token black kid on skins!! 07/03/09 06:55am
en: @trib is that through good cover up? or a lack of bottle-o? Hehe 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Well would you look at this Asian PYT walkin down 3rd ave lookin like she belongs in a Drake video or somethin…Damn girl 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Looking for iPhone developers for a new project, DM me with your email adress if you're interested or if you know some good ones around 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Not so secretly i think chris is cheating on me... Going to sleep though... Txt if you want or call i might Be awake. 07/03/09 06:55am
en: Goodnight. I wish I could put @emarosa 's Heads or Tails Real Or Not acoustic on repeat and fall asleep. It's fucking phenomenal. zZz. 07/03/09 06:54am
en: Trying to decide on a #Flip camera: MinoHD or UltraHD? Any suggestions? #camcorder 07/03/09 06:54am
: i would but I dont have internet member, the album or the name of the songs wont come out lol 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @hyblis yes mmmmm that obsession isn't 'real' or "true"me thinks 07/03/09 06:54am
en: matts over, just chillen in my room, feel free to call or text, 792-7273. 07/03/09 06:54am
en: I'm on #JamLegend, check it out at http://www.jamlegend.com or view my profile http://is.gd/1m9mC 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @SklarBrothers CVS at 11:40 -- condoms? or KY jelly and a Cosmo magazine? 07/03/09 06:54am
en: Visit "Select Your Horse" If u r buying or selling anything equine,you will love this website! http://sites.google.com/site/selectyourhorse/ 07/03/09 06:54am
en: Excellent post by @MikeBennet http://peelianprinciples.wordpress.com/ . Does @Downingstreet have anything to add or comment? 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @bridgette92 btw i thought u had a car? (or is this... could it be..? your first one!? haha.) 07/03/09 06:54am
en: I'm either going to kill myself, or these birds. And I'm not ready to die yet, so... 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @phillyd Ohioians or Buckeyes??? Come check it out for yourself. 07/03/09 06:54am
en: watchin tv, or lack there of 07/03/09 06:54am
en: Beer or Vodka....or should I just mix the two!!?? 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @RaziaPillay how about beekeeping? Or limo driver and personal bodyguard? With the hat and everything... 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @TheConnMan cont'd more connected to ppl or more involved in their lives?? and you learn fun facts abt ppl... lol I dunno bullshit answer 07/03/09 06:54am
en: ....ummm she ain't got bbg status. You can call me Hilda. Or Helga. Or Harrichatata 07/03/09 06:54am
en: Not sure how or why you would "make it rain" with the same 4 dollars!! Haha ATL... 07/03/09 06:54am
en: watchin tv, or lack there of 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @jcarian word. Its gunna be a tight race in the east. Any idea where kidd or iverson might land? 07/03/09 06:54am
en: Make me one: http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink1123.html (Or half a dozen.) 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @andrewmonster you don't have to ever talk to me or anything ever again and I'm fine with that tell ur mom I said thanks 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @stevelopez I think you read it wrong. @skeptic916 was telling me to stop using #moonfruit or he'll break it if I win :) 07/03/09 06:54am
en: A sign of our multicultural times or just lost youth in general... Seen on a Brisbane bus. http://twitpic.com/94m40 (via @planetinline) 07/03/09 06:54am
en: at anyone in Singapore or close by, hit me up if you know anyone willing to do some jamaican sounding vocals for a tune! 07/03/09 06:54am
en: watchin tv, or lack there of 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @johncmayer I feel the same way about men named Brian or Bryan. 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @shagreenxo I learned that, if it is on your arm or leg you have brushed against posion ivy, or oak wood. 07/03/09 06:54am
en: I'm looking for someone to stay with Sunday through Thursday in TLV. Anyone have a couch or guest room? I'm getting tired of hotels. 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @iamedic80 And it doesnt matter to me whether you look your best or not 07/03/09 06:54am
en: She the greatest on twitter fellas. Follow @xdunkbbyx , or get the fuck offff. H o l l a. 07/03/09 06:54am
en: REDUNDANCY, Well it's taken forever to get here BUT today is my last day of work or is it the first day of self employment.????? I hope SO 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @KerriMaryBerry LMFAO. It ~runs in the family. Or household, lol, whichever. x) 07/03/09 06:54am
: ) 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @johncmayer nor should u trust their cousins Shame, Shan, Shag, Shalp, Shad, or Billy. 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @MGiraudOfficial I like the idea of you only wearing the fedora for part of your set. Or maybe wear it in some cities and not in others?? 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @shayimani Good morning (night for you I think), can I just jump in and say something or will I get shouted at again? :-) 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @wgnbriannoonan Was unable to call or tweet yesterday. FYI, yesterday my off-to-college son & I spent $110 on socks, Ts, & briefs at WalMart 07/03/09 06:54am
en: question of the night: would you rather have polar bear arms or kangaroo legs? 07/03/09 06:54am
en: 30 min upload....oh well hahaha, so tomorrow will be a g day, hangout with heather, or go see public enemies with her, either way, coolness 07/03/09 06:54am
en: Why does deviantart have either shit artists or amazing artists? Nothing inbetween 07/03/09 06:54am
en: Can someone please tell me why plants are sooooo expensive? I'm only going to kill them!! Or they'll go mad and take over the garden! 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @livetorque V good one..."The One main thing you can't recycle is wasted time".dono whether to laugh out considering the depth or introspect 07/03/09 06:54am
: and! whats your fave band or singer and movie? 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @SiDNEYDAViDSON u put a smile on my face for remembering my lines or feniix lines @ that lol xoxoxoxoxoxoxo 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @brianrhill IIts not about margin, or the money to be honest its about mainstream exposure. Start a thread off tho matey plz do 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @G1NArrgh hahah no! my friend is having a debut either on the 25th or 26th & its not til night time. didnt want to go there alone!! 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @roxieparty not only that she didnt even want the kids. They should stay with michaels family, the nanny, or Diana Ross 07/03/09 06:54am
Get wel soon;): Get wel soon;) 07/03/09 06:54am
en: people tweet or lord Ba'al will destroy u all 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @JuanD_ It's a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny little cut, yet it's bleeding incredibly profusely. It's like it was made by a ninja or something. 07/03/09 06:54am
<a href="http://bit.ly/fQj8D">http://bit.ly/fQj8D</a>: , what will he do with my words — or the words of others?-Martin Luther 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @camilamoretti or i will kill you motherfucker! HHAHAHA (ri mto do i didnt pay, tao nervoso) 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @GeoffreyWu so would you recommend a new user to set up a page or a group in FB? 07/03/09 06:54am
en: can't read my mail, well, err, what can you do? just wait for the weather to cool down or will the server be live soon? stressful times tJo? 07/03/09 06:54am
en: @fotofacade g'luck on the shoot! Any plans to get the 17mm T/S or is the 24mm T/S sufficient for your use? 07/03/09 06:54am
en: http://tinyurl.com/mnnshp - Now You Can Stop Your Break Up, Divorce or Lovers Rejection...Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless! 07/03/09 06:54am