Comments on: Confirmation of Uncommonness http://www.kimwerker.com/2010/03/19/confirmation-of-uncommonness/ Think. Create. Write. Fri, 27 Jan 2012 20:36:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Monica (aka monnibo) http://www.kimwerker.com/2010/03/19/confirmation-of-uncommonness/comment-page-1/#comment-6381 Monica (aka monnibo) Tue, 11 May 2010 07:25:42 +0000 http://www.kimwerker.com/?p=1347#comment-6381 Too bad all parents (even the procreatin' kind) didn't have to take mandatory classes. That would make the world a lot better. Too bad all parents (even the procreatin' kind) didn't have to take mandatory classes. That would make the world a lot better.

]]> By: Monica (aka monnibo) http://www.kimwerker.com/2010/03/19/confirmation-of-uncommonness/comment-page-1/#comment-6205 Monica (aka monnibo) Tue, 11 May 2010 00:25:42 +0000 http://www.kimwerker.com/?p=1347#comment-6205 Too bad all parents (even the procreatin' kind) didn't have to take mandatory classes. That would make the world a lot better. Too bad all parents (even the procreatin' kind) didn't have to take mandatory classes. That would make the world a lot better.

]]> By: Robin http://www.kimwerker.com/2010/03/19/confirmation-of-uncommonness/comment-page-1/#comment-6142 Robin Wed, 31 Mar 2010 12:54:44 +0000 http://www.kimwerker.com/?p=1347#comment-6142 I, too, had to deal with the "You are going to have a tough time having babies of your own" diagnosis. So coming from a large family who's women could get pregnant just from the proverbial "gleam in a young man's eye", it was at first a tough pill to swallow. So I delayed the whole baby thing until I was in my mid 30's. After 2 rounds of very expensive and painful IVF cycles and no baby - I was 38 at the time, we decided to adopt. <br><br>Long story, short, we got through the process(twice!) and have 2 boys - brothers - adopted at birth - at Mom's request we got to be present for each birth - absolutely amazing! These children were immediately and lovingly accepted into both of our families the second we brought them home. They are happy and healthy and very loved. My husband and I know they are the children we were always meant to have. They could not be more "ours". They even look like us. <br><br>And while the American process may not be pretty from a moralistic viewpoint ($), I cannot bear to think about where our boys would be had they not been adopted and had to stay in the environment they surely would have been brought up in had their birth mother kept them. She was also keenly aware of this and voiced it on more than one occasion.<br><br>So, best wishes for a smooth adoption, a beautiful baby...preferably one that sleeps all night...and a wonderful fun filled life with children. Oh, my kids love to see me wear an apron when I cook or when I work in the garden...their favorite is the one with the red one with ruffles...go figure! I, too, had to deal with the “You are going to have a tough time having babies of your own” diagnosis. So coming from a large family who's women could get pregnant just from the proverbial “gleam in a young man's eye”, it was at first a tough pill to swallow. So I delayed the whole baby thing until I was in my mid 30's. After 2 rounds of very expensive and painful IVF cycles and no baby – I was 38 at the time, we decided to adopt.

Long story, short, we got through the process(twice!) and have 2 boys – brothers – adopted at birth – at Mom's request we got to be present for each birth – absolutely amazing! These children were immediately and lovingly accepted into both of our families the second we brought them home. They are happy and healthy and very loved. My husband and I know they are the children we were always meant to have. They could not be more “ours”. They even look like us.

And while the American process may not be pretty from a moralistic viewpoint ($), I cannot bear to think about where our boys would be had they not been adopted and had to stay in the environment they surely would have been brought up in had their birth mother kept them. She was also keenly aware of this and voiced it on more than one occasion.

So, best wishes for a smooth adoption, a beautiful baby…preferably one that sleeps all night…and a wonderful fun filled life with children. Oh, my kids love to see me wear an apron when I cook or when I work in the garden…their favorite is the one with the red one with ruffles…go figure!

]]> By: Robin http://www.kimwerker.com/2010/03/19/confirmation-of-uncommonness/comment-page-1/#comment-6099 Robin Wed, 31 Mar 2010 11:54:44 +0000 http://www.kimwerker.com/?p=1347#comment-6099 I, too, had to deal with the "You are going to have a tough time having babies of your own" diagnosis. So coming from a large family who's women could get pregnant just from the proverbial "gleam in a young man's eye", it was at first a tough pill to swallow. So I delayed the whole baby thing until I was in my mid 30's. After 2 rounds of very expensive and painful IVF cycles and no baby - I was 38 at the time, we decided to adopt. <br><br>Long story, short, we got through the process(twice!) and have 2 boys - brothers - adopted at birth - at Mom's request we got to be present for each birth - absolutely amazing! These children were immediately and lovingly accepted into both of our families the second we brought them home. They are happy and healthy and very loved. My husband and I know they are the children we were always meant to have. They could not be more "ours". They even look like us. <br><br>And while the American process may not be pretty from a moralistic viewpoint ($), I cannot bear to think about where our boys would be had they not been adopted and had to stay in the environment they surely would have been brought up in had their birth mother kept them. She was also keenly aware of this and voiced it on more than one occasion.<br><br>So, best wishes for a smooth adoption, a beautiful baby...preferably one that sleeps all night...and a wonderful fun filled life with children. Oh, my kids love to see me wear an apron when I cook or when I work in the garden...their favorite is the one with the red one with ruffles...go figure! I, too, had to deal with the “You are going to have a tough time having babies of your own” diagnosis. So coming from a large family who's women could get pregnant just from the proverbial “gleam in a young man's eye”, it was at first a tough pill to swallow. So I delayed the whole baby thing until I was in my mid 30's. After 2 rounds of very expensive and painful IVF cycles and no baby – I was 38 at the time, we decided to adopt.

Long story, short, we got through the process(twice!) and have 2 boys – brothers – adopted at birth – at Mom's request we got to be present for each birth – absolutely amazing! These children were immediately and lovingly accepted into both of our families the second we brought them home. They are happy and healthy and very loved. My husband and I know they are the children we were always meant to have. They could not be more “ours”. They even look like us.

And while the American process may not be pretty from a moralistic viewpoint ($), I cannot bear to think about where our boys would be had they not been adopted and had to stay in the environment they surely would have been brought up in had their birth mother kept them. She was also keenly aware of this and voiced it on more than one occasion.

So, best wishes for a smooth adoption, a beautiful baby…preferably one that sleeps all night…and a wonderful fun filled life with children. Oh, my kids love to see me wear an apron when I cook or when I work in the garden…their favorite is the one with the red one with ruffles…go figure!

]]> By: Trena http://www.kimwerker.com/2010/03/19/confirmation-of-uncommonness/comment-page-1/#comment-6095 Trena Sun, 28 Mar 2010 16:09:06 +0000 http://www.kimwerker.com/?p=1347#comment-6095 Hey, good luck with the adoption! And way to go with the down to earth place you're living in. I think when we put too much, or invest too much of ourselves in any one place, we are often disappointed when it doesn't live up to our expectations, you know what I mean? Be it friends lovers or babies.....Sounds like you'll make a great Momma:)<br>And oh yeah, the aprons?? I just found some amazing vintage 50's aprons....they are made out of chiffon for love of god! Completely useless...but I'll definitely be sporting one at my next dinner party! Hey, good luck with the adoption! And way to go with the down to earth place you're living in. I think when we put too much, or invest too much of ourselves in any one place, we are often disappointed when it doesn't live up to our expectations, you know what I mean? Be it friends lovers or babies…..Sounds like you'll make a great Momma:)
And oh yeah, the aprons?? I just found some amazing vintage 50's aprons….they are made out of chiffon for love of god! Completely useless…but I'll definitely be sporting one at my next dinner party!

]]> By: margaretnieman http://www.kimwerker.com/2010/03/19/confirmation-of-uncommonness/comment-page-1/#comment-6081 margaretnieman Tue, 23 Mar 2010 19:12:50 +0000 http://www.kimwerker.com/?p=1347#comment-6081 Kim, I was excited to hear about your adoption plans. I have a 16 year old daughter from China who is the joy of our lives. Our homestudy so many years ago was pretty calm, although a thunderstorm did cause the power to go out and we were interviewed by candlelight. <br>It is interesting to learn of the differences in the process between Canada and the US. Best wishes for the adventures to come. Kim, I was excited to hear about your adoption plans. I have a 16 year old daughter from China who is the joy of our lives. Our homestudy so many years ago was pretty calm, although a thunderstorm did cause the power to go out and we were interviewed by candlelight.
It is interesting to learn of the differences in the process between Canada and the US. Best wishes for the adventures to come.

]]> By: kendra http://www.kimwerker.com/2010/03/19/confirmation-of-uncommonness/comment-page-1/#comment-6080 kendra Tue, 23 Mar 2010 18:49:09 +0000 http://www.kimwerker.com/?p=1347#comment-6080 yet another reason to love canada. taking money out of the equation is huge. wishing all the best for your family!!! yet another reason to love canada. taking money out of the equation is huge. wishing all the best for your family!!!

]]> By: MelissaFG http://www.kimwerker.com/2010/03/19/confirmation-of-uncommonness/comment-page-1/#comment-6079 MelissaFG Mon, 22 Mar 2010 14:44:27 +0000 http://www.kimwerker.com/?p=1347#comment-6079 I will acknowledge that your mom may be a <em>little</em> more Lucille Ball than June Cleaver... but, I think you are the product of a lot of traditional values nonetheless (even if expressed in nontraditional ways). Not a bad thing, either way... just my observation.<br><br>Regardless, though, I give you credit for swimming upstream in a downstream world. It's not only our community's values, but also in large part what we see on TV, read on blogs, etc. that contribute. I think it's not easy to (a) realize that your needs/wants are different from what society expects, and (b) act on that realization without fear of judgment. I will acknowledge that your mom may be a little more Lucille Ball than June Cleaver… but, I think you are the product of a lot of traditional values nonetheless (even if expressed in nontraditional ways). Not a bad thing, either way… just my observation.

Regardless, though, I give you credit for swimming upstream in a downstream world. It's not only our community's values, but also in large part what we see on TV, read on blogs, etc. that contribute. I think it's not easy to (a) realize that your needs/wants are different from what society expects, and (b) act on that realization without fear of judgment.

]]> By: Kim Werker http://www.kimwerker.com/2010/03/19/confirmation-of-uncommonness/comment-page-1/#comment-6077 Kim Werker Mon, 22 Mar 2010 13:28:50 +0000 http://www.kimwerker.com/?p=1347#comment-6077 We don't really have June Cleaver values in my family. Which is actually<br>quite lucky for me, since my family was one institution whose assumptions I<br>didn't feel I had to violate in the choices I've made. (Well, the<br>procreation-related choices. I've given them a run for their money in all<br>sorts of other ways.)<br><br>But yeah, our hometown (for those of you reading all the way down here in<br>the comments, Melissa and I were high-school BFFs in upstate New York) is<br>full of those assumptions. It's part of why I was never happy living there,<br>and much of why I was so happy to move very far away as soon as I could. By<br>making an unfamiliar place my home, I was able to be oblivious to the<br>assumptions people grow up with here, which gave me what I needed to just do<br>what's right for me.<br><br>By the time I started cluing into the local assumptions, I'd already set<br>myself on my own path. So now I'm not at all bothered when I become aware<br>that I'm not behaving as people might assume I should, and I've found great<br>friends who either don't care or who relate.<br><br>Also, I don't think you'll ever find me in pearls. Aprons, definitely. But<br>not with pearls. We don't really have June Cleaver values in my family. Which is actually
quite lucky for me, since my family was one institution whose assumptions I
didn't feel I had to violate in the choices I've made. (Well, the
procreation-related choices. I've given them a run for their money in all
sorts of other ways.)

But yeah, our hometown (for those of you reading all the way down here in
the comments, Melissa and I were high-school BFFs in upstate New York) is
full of those assumptions. It's part of why I was never happy living there,
and much of why I was so happy to move very far away as soon as I could. By
making an unfamiliar place my home, I was able to be oblivious to the
assumptions people grow up with here, which gave me what I needed to just do
what's right for me.

By the time I started cluing into the local assumptions, I'd already set
myself on my own path. So now I'm not at all bothered when I become aware
that I'm not behaving as people might assume I should, and I've found great
friends who either don't care or who relate.

Also, I don't think you'll ever find me in pearls. Aprons, definitely. But
not with pearls.

]]> By: Kim Werker http://www.kimwerker.com/2010/03/19/confirmation-of-uncommonness/comment-page-1/#comment-6078 Kim Werker Mon, 22 Mar 2010 13:19:44 +0000 http://www.kimwerker.com/?p=1347#comment-6078 It's amazing how powerful a diagnosis can be, isn't it? I, too, have always<br>felt relief when a doctor validated that my complaints or concerns were<br>related to something that was actually wrong. Knowledge is power, eh?<br><br>Best of luck to you whatever you choose next, and I hope you'll stay in<br>touch! It's amazing how powerful a diagnosis can be, isn't it? I, too, have always
felt relief when a doctor validated that my complaints or concerns were
related to something that was actually wrong. Knowledge is power, eh?

Best of luck to you whatever you choose next, and I hope you'll stay in
touch!

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